The Big Decision

makeupI have no clue what the heck to do with makeup.

Like, for reals. There’s all these tutorials and pictures of girls who can literally transform their entire faces. They use all these weird brushes and creams and stuff and then *poof* it’s like magic. We don’t need Fairy Godmothers anymore, Cinderella can perform her own makeover. 

Well, unless that Cinderella is me. Then please, by all means, feel free to send me a makeup Godmother. I’ve got, like, 2 classic make-up looks I go for and that’s about all I can do. 

But hey, at least those 2 look good so, ya know, that counts for something, yeah?

Anyway, we’re all familiar with makeup. It’s kinda a part of the culture. Make up hides blemishes,  highlights our best features, and can be used to transform our faces into literally anything. Have you seen some of the crazy make up art out there? Some people got serious skills.

Perhaps one of the most appealing aspects to makeup, is that it empowers you to portray whatever image of yourself you want. 

Flirty? Young? Daring? Natural? Flawless? Powerful? Spiderman?

There is literally a look (or several) for every persona you could ever hope to portray.

Honestly, I think that’s kinda cool. Crazy to think how much some paint and a few brushes can transform the way someone is perceived. And, its really quite nice to have the ability to cover up(or “conceal”) pimples and to make my eyes look bigger and to color my lips so they match my nail polish or whatever.

But what about when that’s gone?

When all the foundation and concealer and eye shadow and eye liner and gloss and lip stick and bronzer and blush and who-knows-what-else is washed off?

Who do you portray when you’re just left with you?

When you look in the mirror and see your bare, totally untouched face, who do you see?beauty

No, I’m not just talking about “Do you think you’re beautiful even without makeup.” We’ve all heard that message. Like, a bazillion times. And it’s a good one–honey, you’re a solid 10, with or without Cover Girl and Maybelline. 

But what I wanna talk about right now is authenticity. Being real. Being courageous enough to be you. Not the you that you want everyone else to see or that you wish that you were. Not the you who gets everything right or has all the answers.

The real, work-in-progress, totally unique and quirky you.

In all honesty, I’m scared to be me.

I’m not nearly as confident or perky or nice or “spiritual” or cool as I want people to think I am. There’s lots of things I get nervous about. Like, I still get nervous to sing, even if its just with friends.  And lots of times I have to work really hard at being kind to people, because, in all actuality, many times I’d much rather give them a piece of my mind. There’s days I can barely drag myself out of bed to read my Bible…and sometimes,  I don’t even do it. I’ve even been known to feel frustrated at God and to have doubts. And I’m  the quirky  girl that likes listening to old music and totally ugly-cried during an animated Disney movie.

I’m not perfect. Take off the make-up on my face, and you’ll see my pimples and not-so-long eyelashes. Remove the “make-up” I’ve put on my personality, and you’ll see the girl who really tries, but is still so far from perfect.

The girl who ‘s got quirks. The girl who’s boss told her that, while she’s really growing a lot, she’s still got to be faster.  The girl who generally has healthy relationships–but only because she’s really had to work on her heart and is still consistently having to talk things out and pray for the Lord to help her love people well. The girl who loves theatre and has gotten some fun roles–but who also cries quite a bit behind the scenes, when a disappointing cast list first comes out.

Granted, there are certainly some moments it may be best to hold back–my employer probably doesn’t care to hear me cry about a Disney movie and admittedly,refraining from saying the first comment that comes to my mind has definitely saved numerous friendships.

But, even in those moments, I can still be authentic.

Being authentic doesn’t mean saying and doing the first thing that comes to mind and totally spilling your heart out to everyone within hearing distance. 

It means choosing to be real. Choosing to be honest with yourself and others. Choosing to listen to Ella Fitzgerald because you like her, even if your friends still tease you for your appreciation for jazz. Choosing to go the extra mile to serve someone or to not gossip–not because it’s necessarily what you want to do–but because you love Jesus and that’s what He’s asked of you. Choosing to do what you feel the Lord leading you to do, even if it’s different than what everyone else is doing. Choosing to be vulnerable in a friendship, even if it’s a little scary…
Authenticity is  a choice.

So I guess my  point is this: Who are you gonna choose to be today?






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1 Response to The Big Decision

  1. Sasha, I am always excited to read your blogs. They always speak to me about me. As you know this Grandma of yours is somewhere is her 70’s and still on this journey. I thank the Lord for all remembrance of you. Love, Grandma Karen

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