Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl, who was absolutely amazing. She was kind and sweet–like a Disney princess. She was smart, funny, talented, and absolutely stunning. And she was so nice. Literally. She was one of those girls who was always doing some sort of outreach or reading her Bible or helping little old ladies cross the streets…
And then there was me.
I was tired and irritable and just wanted to eat chocolate. I’d flunked another math test, messed up the punchline to my joke, and the weather was making my hair frizzy. I’d forgotten to read my Bible–okay, lets be honest–I was too lazy to read my Bible and had wasted time sleeping in. Also, I’d accidentally cut in front of an old lady in traffic …oops.
My eyes glanced over at the Princess, who was busy being her charming, wonderful, magical self…I noted all the people who had gathered around, eagerly hanging on her every word…I watched how she seemed to effortlessly always look adorable…I listened to how much she talked about the Lord…
And then, I looked in the mirror and groaned. How could I hope to compare to a girl like that? I did not feel very charming…or wonderful…or magical. I felt like a first class loser. I felt threatened. I felt insecure. I felt mean.
I was jealous.
At first, I tried to ignore the feeling…then, I attempted to scrutinize the Princess, searching for any potential flaw…then, I just decided to get super annoyed with her, so then I wouldn’t feel jealous. I mean, what do I care if everyone loves her and thinks she’s amazing and I’m just here trying to do life and love Jesus and people but am doing a really crummy job–right? Of course right.
It went on like this for a while–me secretly becoming more and more resentful towards the Princess, until I could hardly stand being in the same room as her…next to her, I felt so mediocre. Who could compete with the Princess? Definitely not me…I was a slug.
Cue Holy Spirit.
“Sasha…what are you doing? Why do you keep comparing yourself to the Princess?”
“Because she’s prettier and smarter and funnier and more spiritual than me…and I’m a slug…a big, fat, ugly, unspiritual slug that sleeps in and cuts in front of old lady drivers…”
Thankfully, Holy Spirit continued speaking to my heart, and after much back and forth, He helped me realize a few things…
**Just because something is good, doesn’t mean it’s what the Lord has for me in that season. So what if the Princess runs 6 miles every other day, has mastered 5 instruments, and memorized the entire New Testament…or ya know, some equally amazing accomplishments? Good for her, but not necessarily for me. And that’s okay.
* Jesus has me on a totally unique journey–it’s not fair to myself or the Princess to compare that journey to someone else’s. Sometimes Jesus will ask me to do things that are different than what everyone else is doing…heck, sometimes, I might be misunderstood or judged because of that…but what really matters is that I’m listening to His voice and doing what He has for me. Comparison is a thief.
*The problem wasn’t with the Princess. It was with me and my lack of understanding about Jesus and how incredible I am to Him. The Princess isn’t the one who needs to change–I am. I need to change the way I think and evaluate myself. I need to stop comparing and enjoy being the amazing Sasha that Jesus created me to be. And I need to learn to appreciate others for being themselves too…I shouldn’t have to cut the Princess down to feel better about myself.
There will always be Princesses ( or Princes or, whatever) in our lives–people who always seem so put-together and awesome and we just wish we could be half as cool as they are…But ya know what?
According to Jesus, you are amazing. And talented. And full of purpose.
You are awesome.
How are you allowing yourself to be defined?