Writing A Letter to My Harshest Critic

letters

To My Harshest Critic:

Of all the people I’ve met, you’re by far my harshest critic. It feels like I’m never good enough…which, of course, you always make a point of reminding me off.

You’re always the first person to point out my frizzy hair or make fun of my size. According to your impossible standards, I’ll never be pretty enough. Whenever I make a mistake, you bring it up time and time again, never letting me forget it.  And you’re always lying to me–trying to convince me that nobody likes me or that I’m secretly annoying everyone. The worst things, though, are the names you call me. “Ugly”, “stupid”, “awkward”, “pathetic”, “drama-queen”, “worthless”…you’re so good at targeting my insecurities. You always know just what to say to make me feel horrible.

You are my harshest critic. The one who constantly brings up my mistakes and embarrassing moments, until I’m convinced I can never show my face in public again. Whenever you see me, you’re the person who immediately pinpoints all the things you don’t like about me. Whenever I spend time with friends, you try to convince me that they don’t actually like me… that it’s just a matter of time before they see how completely human I am and decide I’m not good enough.

I would never dream of telling another person that they’re not worth knowing or that they’re ugly or a waste of space. Why then, do I listen to you when you say that about me? Why do I give you and your terrible lies any place of power over me?

Well, today, I’ve decide to make a change. I’m gonna stop listening to you. I’m going to take authority over every one of my thoughts–I’m not going to give you power anymore. 

Because, you are so wrong about me. I’m beautiful and funny and smart and worth getting to know. I’m a solid 10. I’m loved, even though I’m a work in progress. I‘m allowed to make mistakes. I have a destiny and a purpose in Christ. I’m awesome.

I’m sure I’ll see you around. You’re gonna be sticking around for a looooong time. But I’m no longer going to listen to you, when you begin to tear me down. Instead, I’m choosing to listen to Holy Spirit and allow His truth to fill me. Because, unlike you, He actually knows what’s up.

I also want to tell you this, though–despite all the terrible things you’ve said and all the hurtful words you’ve hurled at me…I forgive you. I forgive you, Sasha, for tearing me down. For every time you’ve looked in the mirror, and told me that I wasn’t pretty enough. I forgive you for all the times you’d obsess over my mess-ups and keep me up at night thinking about all my flaws. I forgive you for all those lies you allowed yourself to believe. I forgive you for being weak and broken.

And even though we’ve got quite a journey ahead of us, I’m going to let Jesus teach me how to love you. Because, you’re worth it.

-Sasha

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